First I want to apologize for not posting in what seems like forever. I have not been myself lately. A few months ago I came to know what anxiety was. I never really knew exactly what people felt when they went through anxiety. I always thought it was just a phase that you could control easily and people were just always overreacting when they said they dealt with anxiety. Well, I was completely wrong. Anxiety is a completely horrible and utterly terrifying thing … at least in my opinion. I just could not control it at all.
I went through having anxiety attacks and or panic attacks for what seems like a month. I felt like I had absolutely no control over my emotions or myself. I was seriously an emotional wreck. Every.single.thing.I.did.made.me.angry.mad.sad. anything but happy. It was as if happy didn’t exist in my emotion vocabulary. I had the support from my family and friends but like I said I just couldn’t control it. The mind can be a very powerful thing. One thing I seriously didn’t like to hear was.. just get over it. It’s not that easy. I can’t just forget about it and go about my day like nothing. I felt like it just took over my entire life. I dreaded every single day. Another day another day I had to deal with anxiety and panic attacks. I remember I would go entire days crying, sobbing, or just in bed. And for what?? I have absolutely no idea. Each time I would leave my house even just to go buy groceries I would have a panic attack and I just had to go home. Being around alot of people made me very very anxious. I just wanted to break down and cry. All this anxiety and stress made my appetite disappear. I was never hungry. I would force myself to eat a little snack because I had to have something in my body.
Like I said I went through this for almost a whole month. I tried my best to do things that brought me joy but it was very hard. I couldn’t go through doing my makeup because I would just start sobbing and there goes my makeup. I tried blogging but even that was hard. I just wasn’t myself at all. I finally decided that I seriously needed to do something about it.. I didn’t want to live my entire life stressed and anxious all the time. Little by little day by day .. my days weren’t as gloomy. I tried uplifting things and slowly they worked. My panic attacks went away and I was able to go about my days like I used to.
Other things happened during these past few months that triggered these stressful and anxious moments. But I’ll just cut it short here. I just needed to tell you all why I haven’t been posting at all. I am finally okay and ready to blog away. Every chance I get I get on WordPress and read everyone’s posts. Hopefully I’ll start posting this week! Thanks for sticking by!
If you ever felt or dealt with stress or anxiety .. I feel your pain. Trust me it gets better. Slowly but surely. Anxiety is not an easy thing to deal with especially alone. I am so thankful to have a wonderful boyfriend and the support of my family to help me get through these tough times.